Ask Amy: Post-divorce disclosure brings about dilemma
There is no need to shame, blame, or push this – you could tell your ex (using a neutral tone) that this has been on your mind lately and that you think he should consider disclosing it to your sons.
(Obviously, if your ex is frightening or dangerous and if this contact would put you at risk, you should not do so, but if all you really fear is your own discomfort at being told to mind your own business, then you might risk it.)
However, given the remoteness of the situation (your ex told you after you were divorced, he doesn’t seem to have met this son or had any contact with him, and you don’t have verification that this is true), I believe you should leave any actual disclosure up to him.
Dear Amy: My niece is planning her destination wedding.
I am happy for her and her beau, but my dilemma is that she does not plan to invite her mother (my sister) to her wedding because they do not get along.
In fact, they have not spoken in more than a year.
I have been invited but I am concerned that my attendance would be devastating to my relationship with my sister.
I realize the guest list is my niece’s choice, but I am torn.
Do you have recommendations?
– Torn Aunt
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