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Ask Amy: Mother wonders if daughter is too happy

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My 31-year-old daughter is "happy with her size." She doesn't seem to mind that she's nearly 300 pounds at 5-foot 5-inches tall — until she has a mood swing and then she gets mad at me because I'm not big like her.

I never bring up the subject — ever.

I don't know what to say and have to be very careful how I address the subject. Other than that, we get along well.

I do worry that her health is at risk, but I don't dare say a word about her being overweight.

All (or most) of her friends are also very large.

She resents my being smaller. I don't know what to do or say.

 

– At a Loss (for Words)

Dear At a Loss: If you never discuss weight with your daughter, it’s not quite clear how you know that she resents you so deeply.

She is an adult and she is free to make unhealthy choices – just as you are. What she does not get to do is to blame or shame you. The same goes for you, by the way.

The National Health Lung and Blood Institute at the National Institutes of Health states the following: “Obesity is a serious medical condition that can cause complications such as metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure, atherosclerosis, heart disease, diabetes, high blood cholesterol, cancers and sleep disorders.

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