Life Advice



Ask Amy: Bad chemistry leads to awkward visits

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My husband and I have spent several of the past few summers visiting (his) longtime family friends at their vacation home. They are always very kind and welcoming.

While I enjoy the wife in this couple, I find the husband to be very off-putting.

In the beginning, I put it down to my own distaste and made the best of the situation. I have spoken to my husband about these feelings and he is empathetic and respectful.

I never communicate with the husband outside of our visits and have pulled back a little from communicating with his wife.

My husband visits them regularly while working in their state.

Recently, the husband asked my husband in casual conversation why I didn’t like him. I think this is a very rude question to ask someone’s partner.


I’m sure my husband said something about it not being true and quickly moved off-topic.

As we are headed out for a visit, I’m nervous that he will ask me the same question.

I cannot tell him that I do not care for him, nor can I pretend that we are best friends. He has never done anything inappropriate – but I simply do not like him. I do not trust him and would never be around him if it weren’t for my husband’s long friendship.

Please help me to stay polite. I tend to show exactly how I’m feeling on my face.


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