Ask Amy: Reuniting couple need relationship rehash
Walt asked me if he should lay it all out on the table: He wants a companion to enjoy life with for their golden years.
I thought that might sound insulting to her, as if he couldn't find anyone else and so he’s circling back to her.
What do you think?
– Younger SIL
Dear Younger: My instinct is that “Walter” is getting desperate, or at least, he is sounding desperate.
If his ex was “playing the field, looking for a husband,” isn’t he now “playing the field, looking for a wife?”
His goal should not be to seal the deal with this first lunch, but to get to a second date.
I suggest that he start by offering to do a little “relationship rehash” with her, in case there are any lingering issues he may need to explain or apologize for regarding their previous relationship and how it ended. He should focus on listening to her during this initial meeting.
If Barb is a woman of substance who has been single for a long time, she has already been to the puppet show and seen the strings.
If Walter listens to his date and discerns her wants and needs – rather than leading with his own – she might be responsive to rekindling their relationship.
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