Ask Amy: Tough talk has to start somewhere
My point is that when you’re ready, the way to talk about this, is to just start talking, and let the verbs and nouns fall where they may.
When it comes to introducing a challenging or difficult topic, however, I think it’s always wisest, and easiest, to start by saying, “This is tough. I’m not really sure how to do this, but I hope you will bear with me…”
One or more of your siblings may be upset by this (at least, initially). They may feel betrayed by this evidence of your mother’s infidelity, and they could blame you for being the messenger.
It is also a strong possibility that one or more of your siblings may know about this (especially if they are older), or may have suspected it.
Your DNA parentage might represent a long-held family secret that will finally be resolved.
You seem to have a measured and rational reaction to this news, likely because, even though you may have questions about your DNA, you actually really do know who you are.
You are a man who was raised by your two parents, and you are part of an aging sibling group who have already been through life together. This is one more adventure for you to encounter as a family.
Your demonstrated equanimity, as well as an open and loving attitude, will set the tone.
Dear Amy: My niece is angry at a few members of our family. We offered our apologies, but they were rejected.
My daughter is getting married, and that’s making things awkward.
...continued
