Ask Amy: Recovering addict feels hounded by dreams
– Guilty Dreamer
Dear Dreamer: My first thought is that you are making great progress. You are married to a graceful man and have the privilege of being a parent to your son.
You are having these dreams less frequently. You are sober, you are taking responsibility for your own actions, and you are – very appropriately – working on the next step toward greater health and healing.
Forgiving yourself is a big job and tapping into your own mothering skills might help. When your son makes a mistake, feels guilty, and beats himself up for it, you likely tap into your gentlest self in order to comfort him.
You need to learn how to apply this skill, this very parental sort of gentleness, toward yourself.
Your challenging tendency to be unforgiving toward yourself likely goes back further than your addiction and infidelity.
Your addiction might have been one way of anesthetizing or numbing these tougher feelings and reactions. A sobriety counselor or support group would help you to continue to put your past into your past.
I hope you will continue to work this through in order to be the very best version of yourself.
Dreams are your mind’s way of narrating your story. But you actually write that story during your waking life. Keep going. Keep writing.
Dear Amy: I have three long-term friends who have planted big Black Lives Matter signs in their front yards.
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