Life Advice



Ask Amy: Husband claims slur is ‘just a word’

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

We are appalled by her behavior.

I have been invited to her baby shower and have been given a list of specific items from which to choose with instructions that we need to choose from the list (many of them out of our budget).

My husband and I do not care to support her because of this rift.

We think she is out of line and acting immature.

We are torn because my husband’s brother (her dad) has always been kind and supportive to our son and I would like to show respect and support for him.

I know her grandfather wants to give her something; he still loves her and always will.


Should we send a gift?

– Concerned Aunt

Dear Concerned: The way I read your question, you would prefer not to recognize or celebrate your niece, out of solidarity to her grandfather.

You can ghost this niece, or gripe about her too-expensive shower registry, but when you withdraw from her, you are then perpetuating HER poor behavior.


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