Life Advice



Ask Amy: Husband claims slur is ‘just a word’

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: About two years ago, my husband started using the "N-word” (we are white).

He mainly used this word when watching something that upsets him or when he would drink. You get the picture.

He is now upset because some of the family (and I) say that using the N-word makes him look racist.

He says it's just a word, and it's OK because he used it all the time when he lived in California with his Black friends and that they all just said it, no matter what race they were referring to.

We argue about this, and he defends his past behavior, no matter my opinion.

He has mostly stopped using the word after I made a huge issue about it. Occasionally, he will say it when he is mad about a certain person on the news or politician and it's loud enough that our daughter can hear.


Your opinion?

– Disgusted

Dear Disgusted: Using the “N-word” doesn’t make your husband “look” racist.

It makes your husband an actual racist.


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