Life Advice



Ask Amy: ‘Save-the-Date’ doesn’t lead to an invitation

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Do you have any suggestions of how to curtail all the hugs?

– Need Some Space

Dear Need Some Space: I believe the pandemic has had at least one small silver-ish lining for a lot of people: Liberation from unwanted hugs.

Please, take advantage of this temporary break and assert your preference – and right – not to be hugged. Do it honestly, nicely, and quickly.

It is not “mean” to state your own preferences regarding being physically touched by another person. Try saying, “Honestly, experiencing the pandemic has made me realize that I don’t really like to be hugged. So, I hope a hearty ‘hello’ and air-hug will be enough.”

Dear Amy: Recently, I have had several friends ask me if I intend to get vaccinated against Covid-19.

I have already been vaccinated, but I am starting to think that my friends don’t know me. I’m worried that they think that I am an anti-vaxxer!

How do I deal with this frustration?

– Worried


Dear Worried: I’ll suggest an alternative narrative.

Your friends are trying to politely inquire whether you have received your vaccination yet, in order to gauge whether they – and you — would feel comfortable spending time in-person with one another.

“Do you plan to get vaccinated?” does not make any particular assumption about you, which I believe is an appropriate way to frame the question.

As we (hopefully) emerge from the pandemic, I think it’s vital not to look for things to be upset about.


(You can email Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

©2021 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.




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