Life Advice



Ask Amy: ‘Save-the-Date’ doesn’t lead to an invitation

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I met a friend of mine three years ago while beginning graduate school. We both work for the same state agency but in different locations.

The two of us are members of a tight-knit group of 11 grad students who have assisted each other through the grueling experience of attending a master's program while managing life's other demands.

My friend got engaged and stated that she was inviting the group, but not necessarily with significant others, due to numbers. Totally understandable.

Unfortunately, she had to reschedule her wedding from October to May, due to the pandemic and restrictions.

I received a Save-the-Date in the mail and immediately let her know I received it and was super excited. The wedding is now one month away, and I never received an invitation.

I'm assuming at this point I won't be receiving one — given the timing.


This friend is an individual who is very type A and is super-organized.

I completely understand that pandemic restrictions may have created a need to decrease wedding guest numbers, and she might have had to make cuts, however, there was never any mention of "sorry we had to make some changes," or any communication about it.

I even assumed maybe there was an issue with the mail, however, I believe this friend would have contacted me if she hadn't received an RSVP, due to her level of organization.

I don't want to make things awkward, so I have not asked the others in our group if they received invites, nor have I questioned my friend.


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