Ask Amy: Many-married man wonders how to date
Who would want to take a chance with a guy with such a turbulent past life?
Do I bring this up on a first date? Do I wait to be asked?
– Stormy Past
Dear Stormy: Congratulations on your continuing recovery. It is truly inspiring.
You’ve already persuaded four women to put their trust in you, over the years. Now you just have to figure out how to do it, sober.
The way to date is to start doing it! Tiptoe into the shallow end of the dating pool, with the help and support of your sponsor and sober community.
Coffee dates and/or lunch are the current standard for meeting new people.
If your date chooses to drink alcohol, you should tell her that you don’t drink because you are an alcoholic in recovery. There. That’s one hurdle cleared.
Four divorces is not a first-date topic, in my opinion. Your first date should be devoted to covering more superficial basics and doing a lot of listening.
You have every valid reason to take things very slowly. Additional drama may be an unhealthy trigger.
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