Ask Amy: Mom yearns to share sons’ news with her ex
Am I off base?
Dear Unsure: You don’t say why your sons want no-contact with their father (and perhaps you don’t know), but this is an issue you should run past your sons.
What might seem like benign “general knowledge” to you might strike them as private and intrusive.
As it is your compassion toward your ex-husband is commendable, but you seem to be placing his desires and “rights” over those of your sons.
You could use this as an attempt to build a rickety bridge between all of these men: “Dad often asks about you; I don’t want to violate your privacy, so I want to make sure it’s OK if I share very general knowledge with him – just to let him know the basics?”
– Respect their decisions.
Dear Amy: When I was about 56, I heard a young father saying to his toddler: "Look at the Nana!" at the condo complex swimming pool.
I was gobsmacked when I realized he was referring to me, and I did not respond. I'm 61 now, and this happened again at the grocery store.
A young mother pointed me out to her little girl, saying I looked like her grandma! My mouth must have been hanging open, because the mom said, "It's OK, you look like my mom, and she's pretty."