Ask Amy: Employee uses PTO to go AWOL
Dear Speaking: I agree with your attorney. I also hope you will look at some local causes that you might want to support.
Dear Amy: A couple of years ago I read a response in your column about a narcissistic husband, in which you recommended the book, "Should I Stay or Should I Go."
I got the book and couldn't put it down, realizing that I was married to a manipulative, gaslighting, using and abusing narcissist.
Long story short, I am in the process of divorcing him.
I haven't felt as free or been as happy in a long time.
Your column set me off on a path to a healthy life. Thank you.
– An Appreciative Reader
Dear Appreciative: I am somewhat conflicted that the ending of your marriage should be counted as a “win” for either of us, but I definitely understand that an “a-ha” moment can lead to a major life change. I’ve experienced this, myself.
I highly recommend the work of Ramani Durvasula, author of “Should I Stay or Should I Go” (2015, Post Hill Press).
Narcissism is an overused descriptor, as she notes in a recent talk. A garden-variety “jerk” is not necessarily a narcissist.
A true narcissist lacks empathy, constantly seeks attention and validation, is hyper-sensitive, angry, grandiose, and has a tendency to “manipulate and exploit people.” A narcissist can experience hair-trigger rage when their ego is threatened.
Some of these characteristics can make a person seem extremely compelling and confident at first, but narcissism is thought to be a cover for deep instability and insecurity.
These are tough and potentially terrible characteristics in a life-partner and parent.
©2021 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.