Ask Amy: Age discrimination is no laughing matter
It’s so frustrating!
I'm not sure how to bring this up. I feel like maybe I should be grateful he contributes to housework (something my father NEVER did), but I find it frustrating and confusing when the clean stuff and the dirty stuff are just piled there together.
Our countertops are basically never clear, even after everything has been washed — unless I sort through the remainders myself.
He definitely contributes to housework on a regular basis, so I'm not sure if I should just let this slide?
If I mention it, is that petty nagging? I just feel like if a job is worth doing, it should be done completely.
– Half-grateful, Half-frustrated
Dear Half: Your husband is NOT doing you a personal favor by putting a few dishes away. Functioning adults are supposed to do their share of household chores.
If you only ever mowed half the lawn (for instance), would your husband worry about expressing his frustration, for fear of being a “petty nag”?
No, he would say, “Honey, you’re not done. When you leave it like this, I just have to come along and finish it. What’s up with that?”
Your own father trained you to feel grateful for every scrap of household effort (mine, too), but when you clean up after your husband cleans up, you are infantilizing him in his own house. Treat him like a grown-up and talk about it.
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