Ask Amy: Newly married couple nurses gift-grudge
Should I bring up my disappointment, or try to let it go?
Either way, I'm sure this won't end well.
– Hurt Feelings
Dear Hurt: First of all, congratulations!
Now, buckle up, because I want to suggest a counter-narrative.
Here is the letter I imagine your cousin might have sent to me:
“Dear Amy: My cousin and I are like brother and sister! I have always been genuinely happy to include him and his partner of 28 years in all of our family gatherings over the years, including those really important events such as engagements, weddings, baptisms, birthdays, etc.
Last year, he and his partner decided to get married! This is great news; they’ve been together longer than most married couples I know, and at the age of 70, I’d say it’s about time.
I understand that during the pandemic, any in-person ceremony would be out of the question, but imagine how hurt I felt when I learned about this wedding from my daughter, who saw a posting on Facebook.
I called them to congratulate them, but I feel hurt that my closest cousin didn’t bother to tell me about his wedding – even after the fact -- and I had to learn about it third hand.”