Ask Amy: Baby’s mama worries she won’t find Mr. Right
You seem to be extremely and needlessly agitated regarding your future. Perhaps it is because a doctor slapped a “geriatric” label on you at the age of 35. This is a disservice to you, because it seems to have made you panic, during the very time of your baby’s early life when you should be learning to live in the moment.
Because your baby’s father doesn’t want to get married or have more children with you (and you want both), perhaps you and he should mindfully transition into an amicable, mutually supportive co-parenting arrangement and you should both consider yourself available to other relationships.
You should also assume that you will NOT meet the perfect person who will want to marry you and have a child within the next couple of years. However, you could choose to have another child on your own, through sperm donation or adoption.
What you don’t want to do is convey to your child that your family is incomplete until Mr. Wonderful comes along and is able to fulfil your goals.
If you could settle down a little bit, you might see that your slightly unconventional family is teaching you to adjust to the world as it is.
There are many ways to have more children, including the way I did it, which was to joyfully acquire four additional stepdaughters, after being a single mother for 17 years.
My point is that you can lay out your plans, but the world might have other ideas.
Dear Amy: My husband and I are planning to take a trip to Disney World several months from now.
Today I received an email from my sister, saying that her daughter, “Hillary,” “…is thinking about joining you on the Disney trip. Would you be able to give her some additional information about what is planned?”
Hillary was never invited to join us. She is lovely, but it is not possible for us to have her along on this vacation.