Life Advice



Ask Amy: First cousin is now once-removed

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: A few years ago my cousin was absolutely entrenched in doing my father’s side of the family's ancestral history (our fathers were brothers).

He even went to our paternal grandfather's native country in Europe to continue his search. While there, he located many distant relatives.

Then he did his own DNA test. He did not share the results with me until I shared mine with him.

My results showed 50 percent of our father’s heritage, while his DNA showed absolutely no connection between us.

He and I should share the same half of DNA as his father and mine were brothers, right?

Since then, he has ostracized the family, claiming that some of us knew this and never told him (he is the youngest). This is NOT true! Both of his parents are deceased.


Now he refuses to share all this knowledge he obtained through his discoveries of our family.

He has always been my cousin. This infidelity on his mother’s part has no bearing on how I feel about him being in the family.

Before this we all got along great, and now he wants nothing to do with any of us.

How do I let him know that his DNA doesn’t matter to me?


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