Ask Amy: Faux ‘wedding’ is a real gamble
Our friends recently decided to end their marriage and part ways. While this is very sad for them (and us), of course we accept their decision and don’t want to interfere.
Well, Fred recently confided in me that he regrets the path he and his ex-wife took toward separation and divorce. He sincerely believes that he and Ethel could work things out.
At the same time, Ethel has confided in my wife that she also wishes they had not given up on their marriage.
One key to our ongoing healthy friendship is that we are extremely discreet. My wife and I are torn about divulging these confidences, but wonder if we should, now.
What do you think?
– Ricky and Lucy
Dear Ricky: Before breaking a confidence, you and your wife should each encourage your friends privately to be brave enough to communicate directly with each other.
If they lose their nerve, then yes, I would provide a nudge: “Ethel told Joan that she regrets breaking up, too. Dude, get on it.”
What happens next should be entirely up to them.
Dear Amy: “Stoner – Trying to do Better” relayed his challenging situation in trying to give up his daily pot use.
I thought your advice was OK, but I really object to you using the word “stoner” to describe him. Labels are for cans, not for people.
– Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: “Stoner” was the label the writer supplied to describe himself. But I agree – not self-identifying as a stoner might help to change his outlook.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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