Life Advice



Ask Amy: Child-averse couple faces kid kryptonite

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I'm a woman in my mid-30s. My husband and I are indecisive about having kids. I’m not much of a “kid person.” He is definitely better with kids than I am.

I got along with school-age and older children well until a few years ago, when relatives on both sides started pressuring us, declaring that we were selfish or missing out on the meaning of life if we didn't have kids.

Meanwhile, my husband and I are regularly bombarded by photos of the kids in the family, to the point that I have turned off notifications.

Now, I'm uneasy about planned visits from family this summer.

Our relatives have eased up on overtly pressuring us, but I know the adult conversations will revolve heavily around childrearing or discussing the latest results of their “doomscrolling” (another topic that drives me crazy).

Also, my youngest nieces/nephews, who are kryptonite for my patience, are being brought into the mix.


When they first visited before COVID, my most successful day with them was when they came over to our house, and they were very happy to play with our dog, who is a dream with children.

However, we quickly found that our home is not exactly kid-friendly.

This time, I'm thinking of suggesting an outing or two at a big, lovely park near us that has a well-maintained dog park, plenty of walking paths, and one or two playgrounds. The only downside is the grandparents, who aren't very mobile anymore, likely couldn't join us.

Do you have any other recommendations on how I can survive these summer visits?


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