Ask Amy: Fiance’s incessant talking causes problems
Albert is a really nice guy, but I have started to dread going to gatherings with him and this makes me feel terrible.
I worry that this is a mental illness.
Am I just being ridiculous and petty, or could he have a problem that a doctor or therapist could help with?
Dear Worried: If “Albert’s” behavior is as extreme as you describe, you should take a very serious look at your own capacities and willingness to cope with such a noisy and intellectually unfulfilling partnership over the long term.
Being with him is already causing you to self-isolate. His compulsive behavior has an impact on his professional prospects, as well as your relationships.
Yes, his nonstop talking could be the result of a treatable issue: extreme anxiety, bipolar disorder, Aspergers, or ADHD.
Talking nonstop can also be a way for a person to hold their deeper feelings at bay, covering old wounds or trauma.
Your fiancé should be evaluated by a mental health professional. One way to confront this issue would be for you to set up an appointment with a therapist for some premarital counseling for you both.
Dear Amy: My fiancé and I are getting married this September! We’ve already sent out “save the dates.”