Ask Amy: Sexting inspires unkind comparisons
My father approached his brother (my uncle, who is Brian’s dad), and he admitted the infidelity to my father, but refuses to tell his son.
It seems that his wife (my aunt) is aware of my uncle’s infidelity and this biological child. It's now been a year and I feel sick trying to hold this secret.
This isn't the first indication of dysfunction in my extended family, and I'm feeling ready to remove myself from the extended family entirely, and simply be loyal to my cousin, who I believe deserves to know that he has a sibling.
What do you suggest I do?
– Caring Cousin
Dear Cousin: I can understand why holding this potentially life-changing secret makes you so uncomfortable.
If this newly discovered half-sibling was able to contact one cousin, it seems logical that she would also be able to eventually reach her half-brother.
One way to try to tease this secret out of the shadows would be for you to contact your uncle to say, “I’ve known about ‘Brian’s’ half-sibling for a year, now. I’m sure this is a very tough situation for you, but I am extremely uncomfortable continuing to keep this a secret from Brian.
“I do not want to interfere, so please let me know when you are planning to tell Brian about this? He is an adult and I genuinely believe he has a right to know that he has a half-sister.”
Dear Amy: On the subject of how to inspire people to RSVP for events in a timely manner, my friends sent an invitation but did not put the location of the event on the invitation. That was sent after the RSVP was received.
Now I try to RSVP the very day I receive an invitation. I usually know right away if I can or don’t want to attend. It takes a load off the mind and helps the one who sent the invitation.
– Learned My Lesson
Dear Learned: Withholding the location is a clever technique.
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