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Ask Amy: Sexting inspires unkind comparisons

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

– Embarrassed

Dear Embarrassed: Your wife has embarrassed, disrespected, and disappointed you, and you are left wondering what YOU should do about it.

Your wife is the person who needs to behave differently.

When a partner gets caught behaving badly, their instant and universal instinct is often to very quickly attempt to sweep the problem away. A typical reaction is to issue a swift apology, insist that you “move on,” and then refuse or avoid discussing the problem further.

Do not suffer silently. Describe how her behavior makes you feel, using “I” statements: “I’m embarrassed. I’m discouraged. I feel unloved. I really need to talk about this.”

You deserve an apology. A real one. One where your wife demonstrates that she understands the impact of her rudeness.

 

If you cannot successfully navigate this with her, you should make an appointment with a couples’ counselor. If she dismisses the need, you should go on your own.

Dear Amy: Two years ago, I rekindled a relationship with my cousin, “Brian,” who is my age (44). Brian is an only child. We've developed a great friendship and are now close.

About a year ago, one of our other cousins was contacted by someone who is most certainly Brian’s half-sister.

The woman was hoping to be put in contact with her sibling and/or biological father. Eventually, the whole family found out and everyone is keeping this a secret from Brian.

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