Ask Amy: Couple’s problems will be baked in
I pulled back from editing because of my demanding full-time job.
I am still expected to read everything he writes, and I struggle.
First, I am confronted by all those mistakes. Second, I am confronted by his needy questions: “Did you like this?” “Did you like that?” “What did you think about that event?” “Was it good?”
He has participated in writing groups but left them. He took a writing class, but he had conflicts with the instructor – an award-winning author.
He yearns for my approval. He craves my adoring accolades. And he is driving me nuts.
– Exhausted Wife
Dear Exhausted: Some spouses can write and edit together, but for many couples who are not Virginia and Leonard Woolf, these two roles don’t always mix well.
Family members often do NOT make good first readers.
It is important for spouses to know that their partners are on their side. But it is also important for your husband to realize that demanding your praise makes you hostile toward his creative projects.
You can say, “I am your biggest fan. But I don’t love every single thing you write. I can’t edit you because it leads to conflict. Also, I just don’t want to.”
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