Life Advice



Ask Amy: Facebook posts create relationship problems

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

(August 2011)

Dear Amy: I’ve known a dear friend’s father and stepmother for many years. Recently my friend's father "friended" me on Facebook. I was happy at first, but he writes diatribes to almost anything I post and has used (somewhat "coded") obscene language.

It's really weird and disturbing. I asked him not to use the language, and he seems to have backed off a bit, but he spends way too much time on Facebook and way too much time "challenging" me on political and religious stuff.

Without offending my friend, how can I stop it?

– Facebooked

Dear Facebooked: You have attempted to influence this person to behave differently, but he is an adult and he can do as he pleases. So can you.

You could "unfriend" or "block" him but if you feel this would cause additional unpleasantness, you could limit his access to your posts.


You two would still be Facebook friends, but if he doesn't see your posts, he won't have much to push against.

I don't think there is any reason to involve your (actual) friend in this (unless you are worried about her father's health). If this man contacts you wondering why he isn't seeing all of your updates, be honest and say his responses bothered you. Then accept the fact that he might not like this reaction.

(August 2011)


(You can email Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

©2021 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.




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