Life Advice



Ask Amy: Girlfriend doesn’t want to hang with the nudes

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Readers: Every year during this time I step away from my column to work on other creative projects. I hope you enjoy these (edited) “Best Of” Q&As from 10 years ago.

Today’s topic is: The male gaze.

I also invite readers to subscribe to my weekly “Asking Amy” newsletter, at, where I post a favorite Q&A, as well as commentary about what I’m reading, watching, and listening to.

I’ll be back with fresh columns in two weeks.

Dear Amy: I'm a 25-year-old woman. I’m in a great long-term relationship with a very nice 27-year-old guy.

Last month he moved into a loft apartment with two other guys, who have been living there for a few years. The setup is very nice. His roommates are generally very gracious and creative people.


The problem is the decoration in the loft. It's full of images of naked or almost-naked women. Some are fine art prints, but others are just raunchy pornography, including a headless female mannequin wearing nothing but lingerie.

I don't feel comfortable hanging out there with so many women being displayed like that.

I asked the girlfriend of one of the roommates what she thought of the mannequin, and she said it was funny.

My boyfriend has told me he does not want to upset the new apple cart by demanding that they change the apartment around. I don't want to come off as a demanding prude by saying they should redecorate their place, so what should I do?


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