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Ask Amy: Consent should be up to niece, not her aunt

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy. Last summer my niece come to stay with me. She was 18 at the time.

I could tell that one of my adult friends, “Stan,” was attracted to her, so I asked him not to have sex with her.

A few months later, my niece told me that Stan had had sex with her and that she didn’t like it and was uncomfortable with it.

She asked me not to mention it to him. Finally, she told me that she had worked it out and that they had stopped.

I was annoyed with Stan because I had specifically asked him not to do this. He said it was unfair of me to ask him, since she was not a minor.

I told him it would have been better if he had spoken to me about it instead of me having to find out about it from my niece, who is upset about it.

 

It has really affected our relationship, and I’m not sure if it can be repaired.

Stan says that if he had to do it over again, he would do the same, even though I had asked him not to.

– Angry Aunt

Dear Angry: Your tone conveys a sense of ownership, rather than concern, regarding this teenager.

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