ArcaMax

She shops in the grocery store.

I would love to do those things, but I use hair color out of a box and put my hair up in a bun. I order my groceries online.

I expressed (oops) that I think it’s wrong that people are going out to hair and nail salons. She thinks I am being overly cautious and that I don’t understand.

The numbers in my state are going up and we have the South African variant of the COVID virus here. Plus, I will probably not get the vaccine until the summer.

We both have strong feelings about this, so I am afraid it might end our friendship.

Tell me if I am being too judgmental.

– Trying to Stay Healthy

Dear Trying: You have the right to your opinion, but your opinion about what is right for you doesn’t mean that it is right for others. Given your health risk, you are wise to be very cautious.

Does “Marion” urge you to join her while she is on her outings? Does she shame you for having gray roots? It doesn’t sound as if she does. She has done her own informal risk analysis on how to manage during the pandemic (the way we all have), and is making choices based on her own judgment.

You are taking good care of the most important person in this equation: You. In addition to guarding your own health, if you stay healthy throughout the course of the pandemic, you are relieving the health care system (and all of those frontline workers we care so much about) of having to take care of you.

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