Life Advice



Ask Amy: Millennial wonders if 'thank you' is too old-fashioned

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

The rules have not changed. The “rule” being that when people extend themselves through acts of kindness, they should be thanked.

Some people snap a photo or video and post their thank you on social media as a public gesture of thanks – and in this Instagrammy world, this also has the added social benefit of reminding their followers that the giver is generous, but also that the recipient is “so blessed!” (and deserving). This is somewhat show-offy, but it is what people do.

Others will text or call.

But the handwritten note remains the gold standard of gratitude-expressing.

Being told, “You didn’t have to do that!” is vastly different from, “I wish you hadn’t done that!”

In a semi-clunky way, your friends are acknowledging your gracious gratitude and the lovely old-school manners that your grandmother drilled into you.


You aren’t embarrassing them – you are inspiring them.

Dear Amy: I have a dear friend who is like a sister to me. We talk a couple of times a week over the phone.

I have a hearing disability in one ear that a hearing aid will not help. Therefore, I do my best to listen carefully and do not have issues with anyone other than this one friend.

She is aware of my situation. However, nine out of 10 times when we talk, she is constantly doing something in the background that would be disturbing to anyone, not just a hearing-impaired person. She's either running the water to rinse off dishes, chopping and running cooking devices such as blenders or mixers, watering plants outside, or chewing and crunching her food in my ear.


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