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Ask Amy: Guest’s choice to post wedding video upsets couple

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Am I wrong for standing my ground?

— Private Newlyweds in PA

Dear Private: It should be considered common knowledge – and common courtesy — that no person should post a photo or video of a friend or family member on social media without the subject’s implicit or explicit permission.

Your wedding was not a public performance, but a deeply personal and intimate family-centered event.

No guest should post any photos of the bridal party from the wedding until the reception is over, and – in my opinion – no guest should ever post any video from the wedding ceremony itself without the explicit permission of the couple.

Some guests might choose to post photos of themselves from the reception while it is still going on – this is inevitable.

 

Some couples ask guests to “check” (surrender) their phones for a completely “unplugged” experience. Others post signs in convenient places, asking guests to please not post anything until the event is over.

Your sister-in-law crossed a boundary. You did the right thing, by quickly asking her to remove it. Her curt reply: “Done” is an acknowledgment that she did what you wanted her to do, but she is not going to be nice about it.

You are also absolutely justified in denying your other sister-in-law the passcode to your photographer’s professional pictures. These are photos that you paid for. They belong to you and your husband, and you should only share them when you’re ready.

Dear Amy: Our son was recently accepted early-decision into an Ivy League school.

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