Life Advice



Ask Amy: Matron of honor declines serving at summer wedding

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I am getting married this summer and was looking forward to having my best friend be my matron of honor. I was maid of honor in her wedding.

Right after I got engaged, she got pregnant with her first child, and her baby is due in late spring.

She initially said she would be able to make this work, but recently told me she decided to decline, because she does not want to travel across the country with a newborn.

I respect her decision and appreciate the advance notice.

She has scheduled her future child's baptism for two weeks after my wedding, and she has invited me to attend the ceremony (not as a godparent).

I'd like to see her and be there on this important day, but I am also sad that my best friend won't be there for me on my wedding day.


I'm also hesitant to commit to non-honeymoon travel (several hours by plane) so soon after my wedding.

Is this selfish of me? Is there a way I can still show my support for her new family without attending?

— Bewildered Bride

Dear Bewildered: I’d like to acknowledge and celebrate your optimism. We are still in the midst of the pandemic, and you are immersed in your wedding planning, assuming that the wedding will happen, more or less as planned, and that family and friends will travel to be with you on your special day.


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