ArcaMax

Dear Amy: I’m very active and adventurous. I started an annual tradition with my daughter to take her on mommy-daughter adventures for her birthday (like hiking, kayaking, horseback riding, etc.).

We’ve done this for six years now and it’s been incredibly special.

This year I decided to splurge on a Maui trip (vaccine dependent, of course).

The complication is that my mom kind of invited herself along. She’s pretty overbearing and can be quite unpleasant to be around, but I know she’s feeling sad and lonely since losing her husband two years ago. She is not adventurous, nor in good physical health. Walking a mile would be difficult for her.

I told her that I was planning a lot of things she might not be able to do. She said that was fine.

I said I could take care of the lodging, but she would need to buy her own plane ticket. Now I am regretting this.

I really try to stay out of hotels. She yelled at me that she, “needs a pool, so we have to stay at a hotel.”

I found a condo that was right on the beach. She got angry and yelled at me that maybe she shouldn’t go.

I fear this is the start of many more issues and will result in a miserable vacation. I honestly am tempted to tell her to stay home.

She has not bought her plane ticket yet. However, this will cause a huge problem in our relationship. What should I do?

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