Life Advice



Ask Amy: Mom’s martyrdom creates a man-boy monster

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My live-in boyfriend of four years is selfish, defiant, impatient and impossible to talk to.

He instantly puts up his guard, starts yelling and deflecting!

I always end up giving up before he rages and confuses me by turning every conversation around.

I love him so much. I know he loves me too. But sometimes, I need him to grow up.

I have a 15-year-old son. I had my son when I was 22. I was forced to grow up fast.

My boyfriend has never lived with a girlfriend before and doesn’t have children.


But I’m a mother and a nurturer. I love taking care of “my Boys,” but it is never, ever reciprocated. He can’t do anything for himself. I am expected to do everything! He works from home, and usually starts drinking at around noon. He averages around 15 beers a day.

I have been sober for one year. Talking to him in the evening is out of the question. He is a complete jerk when he has been drinking.

How do I talk to him about his selfishness?

My good feelings toward him are starting to change.


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