Ask Amy: Partner’s relapse places household at risk
You should orient yourself completely toward what is best for your son. Obviously, living in a sober household is best.
You might have the desire, wherewithal, and adult-sized strength to tolerate the wild ups and downs of your partner’s drinking, but your child has no power over what happens in the household.
He likely walks on eggshells, dreading the next relapse and the attendant drama. The atmosphere in your home – the binges, breakups, and blaming — makes him vulnerable to his own problems down the line.
Your home life is also unhealthy for your partner. He cannot maintain his sobriety while he is with you. This is not your fault, or his. It just is. He should value his own health enough to put his sobriety first.
In my opinion, you and your partner should live separately, and continue to see one another if you want to. You should attend Al-anon meetings regularly, and your son should connect with Alateen. (Check Al-anon.org for a virtual meeting).
Dear Amy: I have a longtime friend of 60 years.
How do I politely ask her to stop putting our conversations on speaker when we talk on the phone?
Her husband always chimes in on our conversations, and this is very annoying!
The last time I spoke to her, their neighbor came over and he also joined our conversation, using some very rude language. I think it would be more polite of her to keep our talks private.
— Sad in Kentucky
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