Life Advice



Ask Amy: Husband seeks a good reason to leave

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My wife and I have been together for 12 years. We started dating in high school and moved in together during college.

After college she moved back into a hostile home environment of her parents’ dysfunctional marriage, adultery, alcoholism, constant fighting and blatant lying.

I was on the fence about staying together, but I couldn't leave her to deal with all of that without my emotional support and comfort.

This went on for a few years until her grandfather started buying homes for his grandchildren and offered one of the homes for us, if/when we got married.

I thought this would be a great way to start fresh with a home that was paid for already, and that we could build on our relationship.

I knew it wasn't the best way to start a marriage with the feelings I had about leaving her, but I couldn't resist the urge to remove her from her terrible situation.


Things were good for a while, but as we spent more time together it became apparent that our futures look very different.

Mainly, she wants to start a family, while I'm unsure about having children, especially with her.

She has made it clear that if I don't come around, this could be a reason to end the relationship.

Should I tell her the truth of how and why we got to where we are? Should I just let the “not wanting children” thing be the less hurtful of the two scenarios as the reason to end things?


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