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Ask Amy: Chance discovery changes everything at home

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Yes, you should assume that he will deny this, or come up with an explanation or excuse for having recently purchased condoms.

When you have this conversation, listen to your own body; pay close attention to your own instincts concerning his behavior. Trust yourself, even if you don’t trust him. Do not take this as a referendum on what kind of person, wife, or mother you are — his choices are not your responsibility, and they are not your fault.

A couples’ counselor would help you walk through your own feelings and reactions, and could work with you and your husband together, if you and he choose to try.

Dear Amy: About a year ago, my sister and I found a half-sibling on a DNA site.

Although this was quite a shock to the half-sister, I did have an opportunity to meet her, and we are all starting to develop a nice relationship. Long story short, she is very nice.

My dilemma is how do we tell our mom? I honestly don’t think she would care. Our dad has been deceased for over 35 years.

 

When we first discovered this connection, my younger sister mentioned to our mom that we found someone who looks like a half-sibling, but when we found out that she is only about two weeks older than me, my sister dropped the conversation and didn’t bring it up again.

Mom inquired about it again, but we responded that maybe it was a fluke. Mom replied that DNA doesn’t lie. She said that when she married my dad, people said he might have another child somewhere, because he had been single for eight years when they got married.

Any suggestions?

— Found Sister

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