Life Advice

/

Health

Ask Amy: Stepparent should fish for a blended relationship

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My girlfriend and I have a 3-year-old son.

We both have other children (including other sons) from other relationships.

Both my 22-year-old son and my father live in different parts of Texas.

Today, I shared with my girlfriend the following: “I’ve been thinking about taking a fishing trip with me, my dad and my son. Maybe start a tradition, to take a fishing trip.”

Her response was, “And you completely just showed that you aren’t thinking of the other boys, which is sad. It seems like you don’t view my kids as like your own.”

I didn’t think of it that way. What do you think?

 

— Fishing for an Answer

Dear Fishing: It is challenging to blend various sets of children, especially when some of the children live elsewhere, and with an almost 20-year age gap between sons. There is no perfect way to do this, and certainly in the earlier years of a newer relationship, some parents and their biological children will continue to spend some exclusive time together.

I am in favor of this sort of relationship-keeping between parents and their children, as long as there is also relationship-building between stepparents and the children their partners bring into the relationship.

This has obviously upset your partner. Does she view your 22-year-old son as her own? I’m guessing not because he doesn’t live nearby, and he’s an adult. But claiming this important kinship runs both ways, as you should remind her.

...continued

swipe to next page

 

 

Comics

Mike Smith Randy Enos Adam Zyglis Kirk Walters Crabgrass Dana Summers