Ask Amy: Scheduling snafu leads to silence, and worry
Dear Amy: I recently reached out to a former manager/mentor to schedule some time to catch up.
The night before the scheduled call, I was invited to participate in a golf outing, so I texted her to see if we could reschedule.
She responded right away that it was no problem, and that she was excited for me. (We had played in golf outings together in the past, so I knew that was a shared interest.)
We traded messages looking for times to reschedule, and then suddenly I stopped getting any response.
That was eight weeks ago. I’ve reached out via text and LinkedIn since then, but still nothing.
I respect this person very much. Our relationship was always professional, but we did trade Christmas cards, and I would consider her a friend.
I’m also slightly concerned that something may have happened with her or her family related to COVID, so I’m not sure how to find out and reconnect without badgering.
— Ghosted & Concerned
Dear Concerned: You initiated this catch-up session, and then you postponed it. There is nothing at all wrong with doing that, but I do think it affects the dynamic between two people when it comes to rescheduling.
It sounds as if you went back and forth a few times regarding a new date, so it’s possible that your former mentor said to herself, “I didn’t initiate this in the first place, and now it has taken on a life of its own. I’m going to take a breather.”
...continued
