Ask Amy: The office seems more toxic than ever
A couple of years before we got together, I hired a photographer to take “boudoir” photos of me — no nudity, but they are sexy.
I’ve never shown these photos to anyone aside from the photographer. I ran across the flash drive with them recently while cleaning out a desk. I had the idea that maybe a couple of intimate pictures might be a fun and surprising gift for “Pete,” but I honestly don’t know if that would be in incredibly poor taste. Our bedroom life is, let’s say, much milder than I experienced as a single woman. Should I go for it or cover up and buy him a shirt for his birthday instead?
— Smart, or Faux pas?
Dear Smart: When a person reaches a certain age, almost any photo of your younger self (“boudoir,” or not) seems like a sexy treasure. (I just ran across a driver’s license from 15 years ago and wanted to frame it!)
I vote an enthusiastic “yes” to this gift idea, with a caveat: Just give your husband one or two prints (unframed) with a warmly written card, and keep the prints modestly sized (that’s the more “tasteful” choice).
I’m not saying that you aren’t worthy of a mural-sized wall treatment, but if you and your husband like the prints, you can talk about enlarging and perhaps framing them.
I sense that you feel self-conscious that these hot photos might draw attention to the contrast in your sex life between then and now, but they might also inspire a little boudoir revival between you; I certainly hope so.
Dear Amy: Good advice to “Anxious Wife.”
Please remind husbands and partners that the title “Wife” does not equal “Servant.”
Some men seem to think they are entitled to be waited on. They wait for their coffee to be poured, for a meal to be served, for towels to be changed, for trash to be emptied and feel if they have a job, that is enough.
Wife may also have a job, but Servant is her lot in life. No way! Pay for a cleaning company and help around the house. Period!
My husband and I have been married for 50 years.
— Not a Servant
Dear Not: Exactly. Thank you.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
COPYRIGHT © 2020 BY AMY DICKINSON.
