Life Advice



Ask Amy: Facebook dustup affects the whole family

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: “Sally” and I were "friends" on Facebook. We weren’t close, but our husbands were pals and my husband would often help hers with home projects. Sally tended to be needy and volatile, cutting people off when she disagreed with them.

Recently, Sally put a political post on FB and I responded to it in a way that she found offensive. She removed my comment. I then messaged her that I was sorry, and that I realized I had erred. I asked for reconciliation and asked if we could talk about it.

In response, she unfriended me and sent what I consider to be a very nasty message. I understand that she does not have to forgive me nor maintain any kind of contact.

Meanwhile, Sally’s husband asked mine for help with some cabinetry in their new home.

My husband spent the day working there.

That same day Sally (who I had not heard from in a long time), texted me in a friendly way.


My husband is supposed to go over there this week to work again on this project. I asked him not to go, but later I told him I was over this and would not interfere.

However, I cannot let it go. I keep thinking we both should take the high ground, but I don’t think my husband should help them out after Sally attacked me.

— Perplexed

Dear Perplexed: It is somewhat baffling that after your lengthy narrative, which is all about “Sally’s” terrible behavior toward you, your problem isn’t with her, but your husband. This whole time, he has been minding his own business. But now he has emerged as the problem.


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