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Ask Amy: ‘Right person, wrong time’ needs translating

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I'm a 22-year-old woman, and I got dumped last week by my boyfriend (he is 21). We had been together for two months. It was the most romantic and happiest time for us both.

We made plans to spend our lives together (getting married, having kids, etc.).

His reason for the breakup was to spend time on his own to deal with his PTSD and depression from an abusive relationship that he got out of this year.

He called our relationship: “right person, wrong time,” but I asked him if the breakup was permanent yesterday, and he said it was. He said that when he feels better, he'll want a fresh start, but I don't understand. If I'm the right person, then why is he ending our relationship?

Whenever he said he loved me or wanted a life with me and that he has never been as in love until me, I could tell he was telling the truth. I love him so much and this has affected me so badly. I know he still loves me, so why is he acting like he hates me right now? He threatened to block me on social media.

Can you help me?

 

— Devastated

Dear Devastated: This guy is trying to break up with you. Your job now is to respect his choice, even if you believe he is sending you a mixed message.

However, he isn’t actually sending you a mixed message. “Right person, wrong time” means: “I care about you, but I am breaking up with you.”

“I need time on my own in order to deal with my previous trauma and depression” means: “I am breaking up with you.”

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