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Ask Amy: Train gift may derail friendship

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

This is the very essence of “none of her business.” Your relationship with your godson predates your relationship with your wife. It is separate from your wife. You have every right to conduct your relationship with the boy the way you choose to. Furthermore, I happen to agree with your stance regarding the gift. It was not a family heirloom. It has been recycled, and now another child will enjoy it.

If your wife has the gall to bring this up to the boy’s parents in your presence, you should say to her, “Well, I completely disagree with you, as I made clear when we discussed this before. When I give a gift, I believe the person who receives it should do whatever they want with it.”

If your wife wants a harmonious home, perhaps she shouldn’t judge and confront friends about their parenting, or harshly judge your godparenting.

And because this is a godchild question, I’ll throw out a favorite admonition from the Bible: “Be a cheerful giver!” You have done so, and good for you.

Dear Amy: I have only one living sibling. She spent most of our adult years manipulating our mother to get more than her share of money, jewelry, family antiques, at times resorting to lies and even theft. She seldom called me, never visited, and left me with the lion’s share of eldercare.

Now she is lonely, her marriage is on the rocks, and her kids are estranged or troubled.

 

I invited her to visit, twice, but found her unchanged. She is still selfish and sneaky.

Now she wants to move here and join my close circle of friends and family. “Family first” has been my creed, but I’m not feeling it for her.

How can I say no?

— Worried

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