Ask Amy: Political views end a long friendship
Nobody who loves you should ever attempt to make you feel guilty for taking care of yourself.
It is a given that you wish you could attend this event safely. Yes, you will feel sad to miss it. But if you are feeling guilty with no prompting, that’s on you.
My take on this is that if anyone should feel guilty, it might be the people who are planning this event. If they are diminishing your very rational concerns or pressuring you to override your concerns in order to attend this shower, then they are being shortsighted and selfish.
More likely, they have invited you because they love you and don’t want you to feel left out, but they don’t want you to override your own concerns, and are just waiting for you to regretfully decline.
Dear Amy: Thanks for the advice you provided to “Trying to Do the Right Thing,” the couple who planned to foster children of color in their white family.
I am a person of color. I have faced obvious and subtle racist comments and actions from others. Racism and racists will always be with us.
Children will learn and grow. The parents should prepare the children that such people exist and help them to develop skills to react and respond appropriately.
And people do change, too. Seeing the extended family growing multi-racially may change a person’s racial perspectives.
— Been There
Dear Been There: Absolutely. Thank you.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
COPYRIGHT © 2020 BY AMY DICKINSON.
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