Ask Amy: Couple wants only ‘classy’ PDAs
Dear Amy: My wife and I have been happily married for over 20 years. We have a question about how to handle an issue with some friends of ours. “Jake” is 56 and “Lucy” is 52. My wife and I are 50 and 53.
Both Jake and Lucy are getting divorced after having been married to their exes for over 25 years each. (Jake had a very poor sex life during his marriage.)
Jake and Lucy have been dating for a couple of months now. They are very into each other. My wife and I think this is great, but we are both uncomfortable with their behavior.
Lucy shares far too many intimate details with my wife about her sex life. My wife says it makes her feel uneasy. Jake does the same thing with me, but to a much lesser degree.
Another problem is that they are all over each other like slutty teenagers in public. It gets even worse when the four of us are hanging out in our backyard.
We totally support public displays of affection when done with class, but we draw the line at borderline sex acts in our kitchen right in front of us — when the four of us are conversing over a bottle of wine. PDAs should always be classy, and not gross and slutty.
Do you have any advice on how to politely ask Jake and Lucy to cut out the pornography and set some limits on what are appropriate actions when they are together in our presence?
— Blinded by the Sight
Dear Blinded: I’m not sure what kind of PDA you consider “classy” versus “slutty,” but I’m going to guess that even though it’s hard to define, you know it when you see it.
It is common to overshare when you’re in the beginning stages of a compelling emotional/sexual relationship, whether you are a teenager or a middle-age divorcee. And the problem with couples behaving this way publicly is that it completely excludes others, turning witnesses into an audience.