Ask Amy: Scorned husband needs a dose of cordial
Being cordial implies that you give NOTHING away. You hold it in. You restrain your feelings, voice, attitude, and body language. You leave people wondering. It is the essence of maintaining the “upper hand,” but it also allows you the internal satisfaction of behaving to a polite standard.
It sounds as if your wife did not “win” her various attempts to lie and bully you through the court system. Even though you now know what she is capable of, you have held it together for the sake of your children. You’ve been cordial. That’s what good parents do!
At smaller events, you would do well to attend with a friend or family member who can serve as a sympathetic buffer and distraction.
Someday, you might have a new partner on your arm, which could make all of this easier for you.
Dear Amy: I'm a widow. My husband died about a year ago.
My son is 37. He refuses to talk to me because of something minor. His siblings fear his behavior, so they cannot persuade him to change.
When he doesn't like your attitude, he puts you in quarantine. He has no relationship with his two older brothers.
His wife doesn't like to get involved because she also fears being cut off.
How can I cope with this? After all, he is my son. This is on my mind all the time, and I try to come up with different ways to deal with it.
His attitude is degrading. If I could stop thinking about it, I would be calmer.
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