Ask Amy: Facebook algorithm connects victim to assault
Dear Hanging On: I have a number of recommendations. None of them involve you calling out this man to mutual friends. Please understand that even if you send a private message, the recipient could take a screen shot of that message and distribute it publicly. This could backfire badly.
First, you should communicate with a counselor at RAINN.org. You can speak with someone by phone, or use their very helpful “chat” function to basically text back and forth. You need to talk about what happened to you. It is never too late to benefit from supportive counseling.
States have varying rules regarding reporting a rape, and RAINN.org has state-by-state guidelines posted on their site.
If legally allowable in your state, you should consider reporting this to the police. It is widely understood that victims of sexual assault sometimes don’t report until many years later. You might be told that they can’t help you, but you might feel more empowered if you tried.
If you want to confront this person about the assault, then you should communicate with him — not through mutual friends. Discuss this prospect with a counselor.
Because you are triggered by seeing comments this man makes on friends’ FB pages, you should use the “block” function to block him. You will then be virtually “invisible” to each other.
Dear Amy: Wedding help please! We have three daughters and one son.
Our oldest daughter got married at 26. We paid $25,000 toward her wedding, following the age-old tradition that the bride’s family picks up the bulk of the wedding costs.
Our only son is recently engaged and will be 33 when he gets married.
He owns his own home, enjoys a comfortable lifestyle, and recently inherited $25,000 from his grandmother. (His future in-laws appear to be very well off.) Our son has recently asked us how much we can put into their wedding kitty.
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