Ask Amy: Old love letters don’t age so well
I think you should send him one more note. Tell him you are very sorry that he is ailing. Remind him of a happy memory you two shared. Thank him for whatever experiences you enjoyed together (“Remember when I dragged you to that Jackson Browne concert?”), and don’t mention the letters at all.
He may respond to your kindness by doing the one thing you’ve asked him to do — and return these ancient letters to you — or you may end up dealing with his niece down the road.
Dear Amy: My husband and I have lived on the West Coast for 30 years.
He is very good at keeping in touch with his four siblings, who all live in the Midwest, where they grew up.
It has always bothered me a little that he calls them each about once a month, while only one of them ever calls him.
We are currently surrounded by devastating forest fires, many unprecedented in the history of our area.
I find it unacceptable that none of the four siblings has reached out to see how we are.
I think that he should discontinue reaching out to them until they show some inclination to reciprocate his kindness and concern. It is his decision, of course, and he’s still deciding. But do you think my position is unreasonable?
— Upset Wife
Dear Upset: Your frustration isn’t unreasonable, but your position is.