Ask Amy: Mom’s addiction and abuse roils household
Write down your thoughts. Be specific and honest in describing the impact on you (“I want to try to help you, but I’m afraid of you. I’m losing confidence in you and in myself. I need to protect myself from your rages.”)
Some people report success by recording or filming the other person’s behavior and then confronting them with the evidence. However, you should not set out to shame your mother, but to allow her to simply see herself. A 12-step recovery program might work for her; she should also see her physician for medical treatment options.
You should also look for other housing. You have a duty to take care of yourself and to protect yourself. Al-anon or another “friends and family” support group would be a game-changer for you and your family.
Dear Amy, I met a man nearly two years ago.
We have been living together for over a year (in his house).
I just found out that he has an STD and has been using multiple dating websites since the beginning of our relationship.
He asks me to move out of his house every time we argue. But then he insists that he loves me. He always says he is sorry afterward.
I used to love and trust him, but now I am not so sure this relationship can be saved.
Do you have any suggestions — before I move out and leave him once and for all?
Can this relationship be saved?
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