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Ask Amy: In grief, you learn who your friends are

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My 90-year-old mom died recently, and right before she died, she told us that her deceased sister had had a baby out of wedlock when she was a teen.

I had my DNA tested, and I looked into this. Sure enough, I found my new first cousin.

My question is: Should I tell my three cousins that they have a half-sister?

My husband says no, because my aunt took the secret to her grave for a reason and he thinks it will change their opinion of their mother.

But I think that if I had a half-sibling, I would sure like to know about it.

What do you think I should do? — In the Know

 

Dear In the Know: Your aunt took this secret to her grave.

Your mother took this secret almost to her grave.

Why don’t you speed up the trajectory and take this secret now to its rightful holders — your cousins?

Family secrets are so insidious; please don’t perpetuate this.

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