Ask Amy: Husband patrols wife’s feelings
I’m not sure this is healthy for her, but I don’t know how to approach the topic. Is it even my place to question her? I don’t know what to do. — Concerned Friend
Dear Concerned: As a friend, you can truthfully reflect back some of the things you witnessed during her relationship: “This person wasn’t nice to you. You didn’t seem to feel good about yourself. I worried about you when you were together.”
Regardless of how she responds or reacts, I hope you will hang in there with her. If she falls into this relationship again, she will need your friendship.
Dear Amy: “Upset” wrote to you about her parents’ risky choices during the pandemic. They lived 3000 miles away and seemed to be going out and meeting with friends, and she was extremely worried about them.
I stayed away from my parents for the first three months of COVID-19, and so did my sister. My sister left our parents’ essential needs at their front door and then phoned them to let them know it was there.
Finally, my dad phoned me and said: “Come on over. Your mother and I would rather die of COVID-19 than of loneliness.”
At ages 91 and 87, I believe they have earned their right to choose. What do you think? — Loving Child
Dear Loving: I completely agree with you — and them. There are ways to mitigate the risk — to them and to you — and I hope you will all choose to be together, while maintaining your togetherness as safely as possible.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
