Ask Amy: Pregnancy can’t stay a secret forever
You feel strongly that your partner’s mother should not be alone with the baby. So don’t leave her alone with the baby. You are the child’s parents. You are responsible for your child’s safety and well-being, even if that means confronting some challenging personal situations.
You and your partner need to get your act together, and keep it together. This means telling the truth, creating boundaries while you are in the household – and making solid plans to leave the household as soon as you can.
Dear Amy: People often write to you, wondering what to say to others who are grieving.
My wife and I lost a son over four decades ago. Before that tragedy befell us, I would feel uncomfortable if I met people who had lost a precious one. Now, I know what to do and say.
Say to the bereaved, “I can only imagine your sorrow.” Offer to hug them and if it brings you to tears and sobs, that is OK. More than anything else you might do or say, that gesture lets them know that you care.
Don’t ever say, “I know how you feel.” Only those who had experienced such a tragic loss know.
Don’t disappear from them. When it happened to us, friends that we had been very close to – vanished. Other people that we had never met appeared and helped with hugs, tears and whatever else they could offer.
It has been a long time. We will never be “over it.”
The sorrow, pain and ache in one’s heart never totally leaves, but it becomes easier to bear.
DT
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